Sex Toys to Spice Things Up

Like any other tool or item sex toys took thousands of years to develop and enhance, from Palaeolithic-era 8-inch siltstone dildos to steam-powered vibrators of the 1800s, the cordless vibrators of the 60’s, and the recyclable solar-powered dildos of today. And while it’s easy to see conventional toys at the local sex shop, some sex toys are not for everyone, and are perhaps only designed for sex-starved or excessively prolific psychos. Here’s a look at a few of the weirdest sex toys offered today.

Sex Toys to Spice Things Up1. The Vibrating Rubber Duck

If you’re looking for a cute and cuddly sex toy to use with your spouse, or with your favourite Asian Escorts Melbourne, why don’t you try getting the vibrating rubber duck now!

This innocent-looking toy is actually meant to ease or transition less-experienced users into the colourful and interesting world of sex toys, through the lure of in-offensive cuteness. That explains why if you go to a sex store or online sex shop, you’re bombarded with lots of “cute” choices, from rabbit to octopus, dog and duck-themed vibrators!

2. The King JCobra Gentleman’s Ring

Looking for a cock ring that’s as mean and terrifying as, a king cobra? This cobra-for-your-dick actually offers a very handy mix of pure erotic pleasure, and a sexual harassment lawsuit.

The King JCobra Gentleman’s Cock Ring is made from solid gold, silver and platinum, and is surprisingly shaped like a real-life poisonous snake! Just make sure you tell your wife, girlfriend or mistress, that you have the King JCobra cock ring, or else they’d probably jump out of the bed and scream a lot of obscenities at you!

3. The Dildomaker

Looking for a tool that turns everything into dicks? Then get the Dildomaker now. This device actually resembles a meat grinder, or a pencil sharpener, and works like a whittling device, and is custom-designed to turn any object that you can fit there, into something that you can snugly thrust in-and-out of any bodily crevice.

So if you put a carrot inside the Dildomaker, then the end result would be a dick-shaped carrot! Isn’t this a great do-it-yourself dildo kit? Too bad, the Dildomaker is still a concept model, and is not yet available at your nearest sex shop (unless an enterprising Chinese trader discovers it, and floods the market with knock-of versions).

The Stay Close Blowjob Aid

If you’d like your partner to keep her head close to your, dick, and give you the best blowjobs, then get the Stay Close Blowjob Aid now! The tool actually looks like a kettle holder, or a weird-looking scarf, which wilfully imprisons the the head of the person, and make their head (and mouth) close to your manhood!

But before using this with your girlfriend, or with the lovely Asian escorts Melbourne that you date, make sure you know how to attach and use it, or else you and your partner could end up in the emergency room.